Kyle's Wacky Love-Venture
by RuneFactoryFan10101
Summary: Kyle has never had good luck with the ladies. But out of the blue all 7 girls are in love with him! How will Kyle react to this change of attitude and will the B.B.U.R. survive? A tribute to SuperMastour. Also awesome cover art by SuperMastour!
1. Is love for losers or just not me?

A RuneFactoryFan10101 production

In association with the Terran empire

Kyle's Wacky Love-Venture

Season 1 Episode 1: Is love for losers or just not for me?

"Hello I'm Kyle, but you probably knew that already! I live here in Alvarna in my farmhouse, all alone. I used to have a monster barn and pet monsters but my bad luck prevailed as always! Exactly 1 month after I bought it and it was built a massive freak tornado ripped it to shreds and sent its remains all the way to the ocean. To this day no one knows how that so called 'shrine' was built in a day! Last I heard from my monsters they sent me a postcard saying that they safely arrived in Sechs and thanks for the all-expenses paid trip, I haven't heard or seen them since. But life isn't all bad for me. I have four best friends Named Barrett, Max, Ray, and Jake they're all nice, they just have their own little weird traits… You'll see, say hello guys!"

"Why hello _**h**_**_uman_** I'm Jake but you can just call me, outstanding, heroic, cool, or just an all-together great guy! By the way don't listen to the rumors about me. I'm not racist, I like _**humans**_… Sometimes or at least once in a blue moon… I mean only if they're in my in-crowd but still! I'll let you know how nonracist I am this one-time…"

"Whoa, whoa, simmer down there Jake this is no time for one of your 'moments'. Sorry he sometimes goes on random fits like that, but moving on! I'm Ray I am really the only guy in our group that actually tries to get stuff done! Yep, you heard me right, we have a business together we call it 'Board Brothers United by Requests' or simply B.B.U.R. and let me tell you right off the bat, all they do is sit around, laugh, drink coffee, gossip, and talk about what was on T.V. last night. And while they do this I'm out breaking my back in heat, cold, rain, and snow. So you tell me why I think I deserve employee of the month permanently!"

"Name's Barrett people say I'm super opinionated, always in a bad mood, and I just don't give a damn but hey look at my huge fan following everybody loves me, and every girl wants to marry me! You can clearly tell I'm very super famous no wonder I'm on every commercial and billboard for the B.B.U.R. And if you don't like or love me your just a hater who wants to be me."

"I'm Max De Sainte-Coquille I'm rich and handsome, everything girls look for in a man. Don't jump the gun I'm dating Julia! Yeah, I don't really need to work here but it builds character and I could use plenty of that! I mean a De Sainte-Coquille isn't born with this much character naturally that would be illegal! Also they need me or who else would manage stock and labor fees."

"So as you can see life is pretty good here in Alvarna!" stated Kyle who won the power struggle and finally regained the spotlight. "The only problem I have is there are seven beautiful, lovely women in this town! Three of them are single and they all hate me! There's Mana the department store owner's daughter (also the very first girl I can ever remember having a crush on.) There's Alicia the fortune teller who isn't very good at her job and Yue the Saleswoman who isn't very cheap at all! She also sometimes travels to a town called Sharance. But let's get back on track, just last week I was walking past the church and saw Mana…"

-FLASHBACK TIME!-

"Hello Mana how are you today?" Asked Kyle trying to be social,

"Kyle you suck eggs I hope you fall in a ditch and break your leg! Then I won't have to look at your ugly face for a few months so GOODBYE!" Said Mana clearly disgusted.

"Bye bye I guess I'll talk to you later maybe…" Kyle was hurt.

A little while later Kyle saw a request from Dorothy saying she needed to talk to him so he went to the docks and waited for her to arrive. forty five minutes after she was supposed to show, she finally appeared and as always was clutching Fern as if he was the only thing keeping her alive.

"Um h-hi Kyle uh Fern has so-so-something important to ta-ta-ta-tell you!" Stated Dorothy as she looked around trying to find a place to hide,

"Hello Kyle you worthless buffoon I'm going to kick you in a minute!" Said Dorothy disguising her voice as Fern "Your name seeps evil anytime someone is dumb enough to say it, God be my witness I will never yield until you are thoroughly bludgeoned, You fiendish villain you." She didn't notice but Kyle was slowly inching away.

"Th-tha-that's all Kyle, thank you for your he-help. Wait where did he go?" Dorothy said while looking around not knowing Kyle jumped in a bush during her distraction.

-FLASHBACK END-

"So see it's not just the single ladies who hate me, its ones who are dating too! But that's enough backstory for now got to go to work, see you again soon!"

Authors notes:  
I don't own rune factory if I did there would be loads more games than there are now! I would like to personally thank SuperMastour because your encouragement is the only reason I took the time to write and post this story. Thanks for reading!


	2. The Runefather Part 1

Season 1 episode 2: The Runefather Part 1: Assassination Mammoth

"Okay, who wants to make a lot of money?" said Max as he walked into Kyle's house paperwork in hand,

"Me!" shouted Ray, Barrett, and Kyle all at the same time.

"Well that's good to hear because we do one simple task and we'll all get rich. I couldn't believe my eyes! I made my daily rounds to go check the request board and gather the details if anybody left a request and noticed there was one piece of paper that had fallen to the ground so I picked it up to see if it was a request, and sure enough it was!"

"How much cash are we talking about?" Asked Ray who was sitting on the barrels next to the stairs.

"Well hold on there Raymond!" Said Max who was looking at the mysterious note.

"My names not Raymond its Ray!" Yelled Ray at the top of his lungs.

"Calm down Ray I didn't mean to offend you." Said Max as he threw his arms forward and took a few steps backwards. "I was just getting to that part when you interrupted me. So, as I was saying the request says we get one hundred million dollars! The only other thing it told me was where to go get additional details, so I followed the directions and I found a cassette tape taped the side of the church but sadly I don't have a cassette player so I don't know what's on it."

"Maybe it has music on it and somebody wants that to become our company jingle?" said Jake who up until now was doodling pictures of Cecilia surrounded by hearts on paperwork of former requests.

"Nah, I think it's a number station transmission from the future, that when decoded will tell us about the end of humanity and how we have been claimed by the Devil to rot in Hell." Said Barrett with an evil smile on his face.

"In the time it takes us to come up with such ludicrous theories we could have already had this request completed and be walking around town in expensive furs and have diamond rings on every one of our fingers. So let's boot that baby up!" said Kyle as he dusted off his old Walkman and removed the headphones.

"Are you sure such a dinosaur would still function fifty million years after it went out of style?" asked Max who was surprised to see such an old contraption,

"Say that again and I'll kick you smartass." said Kyle quite bluntly. He then proceeded to grab the tape and put it in the player and hit the start button then they all waited with dollar signs in their eyes for the tape to start. But the only noise they heard was silence.

Then like a brick to the face Ray realized what was happening "I don't want to be a drag but don't you have to rewind those things?"

"Duh, I was just testing you all waiting to see who would notice, so good job! Take a seat at the front of the class!" said Kyle trying to play it cool. And with that he took his pen back from Jake grabbed the cassette and began to manually rewind the tape, a few minutes later he put it back into the machine hit the start button and it began to play.

"Someday and that day happens to be today." Said a mysterious voice, "I will call upon you to perform a task and since that day is today I will now tell you that task, I need you to go to Padova Mountain and kill the Crystal Mammoth. Then have Kyle bring one of its tusks to the town square and I will reward you with the cash have a good day, and goodbye."

"But wait there's that weird statue at Padova Mountain that blocks off Crystal Mammoth's domain that's why people haven't seen him for decades!" said Jake imagining the money being thrown into a fireplace.

"Also how does he know Kyle's name?" said Ray to no one in particular,

"Tomorrow." Stated Kyle in a determined tone "We're getting our floors paved with platinum, I'm an Earthmate. I'm certain I'll find a way to reach that Mammoth even if I have to ski across thin air while doing the cancan. But just in case give me today to prepare we'll certainly need too, where we're going" and with that Kyle walked up stairs to begin preparations for the coming adventure.

To be continued in The Runefather part 2

Author's Notes:

Sorry this chapter took so long to redo, blame Persona 4 and Saints Row 4 and The Third!

I hope you like the story so far!


	3. The Runefather part 2

Season 1 episode 3: The Runefather part 2: Pantsation Without Representation

The next day 7:00 A.M.

Barrett, Ray, Jake, and Max all walked up to Kyle's house and knocked on the front door, but a few minutes passed and no one answered.

"Do you think he went without us?" Ray asked the other three.

"It doesn't seem like something he'd do, but he might of I guess." Said Max with a hurt expression on his face.

"Hey up here!" yelled Kyle who was standing on his roof with a pair of binoculars a huge winter coat and goggles that made him look like an alien. "Why would you all consider for even a millisecond that I would even think about abandoning you guys?"

"Where you peeping on girls as humans sometimes do?" asked Jake showing clear disgust at the word humans,

"Yep I was." Stated Kyle matter-of-factly "And let me be the first to tell you, you'd never guess, but under that dress Cecilia has quite the set!"

Jake was steaming mad and growling like a rabid dog then he yelled as loud as he could "Come down here and say that to my face, you stupid Bastard!"

"Wow, I was just making a joke no need to get so furious!" said Kyle clearly fearing for his life.

"Yeah, well I'll show you a joke when I smash your face in asshole!" And with that Jake began to climb up the side of Kyle's house. Trying to calm their friend down Ray and Max grabbed both of Jake's legs and began to tug on them hoping he'd get down but he had too much rage building up to not take it all the way. Also at the same time Barrett was standing to the side laughing uncontrollably.

"Jake it's not worth it! Calm down!" yelled Max trying unsuccessfully to pull his friend down.

"Please you four are my only friends in the world! I don't need Kyle dead and you in jail for murder Jake!" said Ray crying a river cartoon style.

At that moment Jake had finally made it to the top, and Ray and Max who at this point was only hanging onto him by his shoes had fallen onto the ground. Jake then reached forward trying to grab Kyle's shirt so he could throw him on the ground, but in unison with Jake's movement Kyle stepped backwards causing Jake to accidentally grab hold of Kyle's crotch, noticing what he was holding onto Jake jerked his hand back before anybody else noticed causing him to loosen Kyle's belt. At that moment everyone in town arrived to see what had Jake cursing like a sailor, and Ray crying like a baby. So right in the nick of time Jake fell off of Kyle's roof and Kyle's pants began to fall exposing his neon pink underwear for the whole town to gaze at in amazement, let's just say Ray was still crying but it wasn't because he was worried about his friend's well-being.

"Hey Kyle I can see your future and it is without a wife HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Said Alicia red faced from all the laughter.

Kyle's face turned ghost white. He was already embarrassed that his closest friends had seen his underwear, but girls too! He wouldn't even have worn that cursed thing if only his laundry would get done.

"Hey, Kyle how about you do our eyes a favor and buy a manlier pair of undies for the next time you decide to dabble in being a male stripper!" Said Yue sarcastically.

"Mana shield your face this is too much for your virgin eyes!" Stated Douglas as he pressed his palm over Mana's face. Little did he know that at a few points in time Mana went and spied on the boy's side of the bathhouse so she knew quite a bit more about the male anatomy than her father thought!

"How lewd!" Said Natalie sounding as though she was about to vomit "if Ray put on that kind of display I would slap him so hard he'd be knocked back to the Stone Age!"

"Please repent Kyle the lord will forgive you if you apologize for this dishonorable sin." Said Gordon in a fatherly tone clearly disturbed by the thought of Kyle doing this willingly.

"Are you really that tiny down there?" Asked Tanya the blacksmith who was never afraid to speak her mind and was clearly more focused on his underwear than anything else.

Kyle couldn't take it anymore he busted out crying and was so angry he wanted to murder everyone who laughed at him, Which happened to be everybody in town except Roy, Gordon and Cammy. But Kyle was sure Roy and Cammy would be laughing harder than everybody else if they were not preoccupied playing in the park.

"You people SUCK! I hope you all have a horrible gruesome fate and I'll laugh as the last bit of your life drains away! GO TO HELL! Except you Gordon you're too nice to go to Hell." and with that Kyle jumped off the top of his house, and ran through his front door, all the way back to his bedroom, and threw himself on the bed, deciding to take a nap. sadly poor little Kyle had to sob himself to sleep that day.

-A few hours later—

Kyle's house 1:00 P.M.

There was a knock at the door. Kyle fell out of bed and dragged himself to the front door then grabbed the handle and used it to pull himself off the carpet "Hello?" He said in a melancholy tone "If you're here to criticize my underwear please, just go home before I hang myself."

"Hey Kyle, It's me Ray I felt like a horse's ass for laughing at you so I decided to come apologize. Also Jake said he was the only Bastard and hopes you two can continue to be friends."

"Ray I'm depressed I feel like comfort eating, so if you want to say sorry just bring me some mint ice-cream then just please, please, PLEASE! Leave me alone!" said Kyle yet again crying.

"We got a mysterious envelope on the request board it says it's for you, I'll just push it under the door so you can take a look." So Ray did just that and left feeling bad that he too was one of the people laughing their asses off at Kyle's suspense.

Kyle grabbed the letter hoping it would put his mind on other subjects and began to read:

Dear Kyle,

If you don't shape up and fulfill my request tomorrow, your friends will DIE and you will be framed

Your friend, The Runefather.

Kyle knew what he had to do, he couldn't just let his friends die even if they were jerks sometimes. Also at this point in time he could care less about his own life. He just had one question:

"Who is this Runefather?"

TO BE CONCLUDED IN THE RUNEFATHER PART 3

Author's Notes:

I hope you liked this chapter even though it had harsher language and was a bit more sexual.

Also starting chapter 5 I will be taking requests and they can involve third party characters so that's another reason to review. Thanks for reading!


	4. The Runefather Part 3

Season 1 Episode 4: The Runefather part 3: the Runefather revealed

**Funded by Genkibowl VII**

**Starring in order of appearance:**

**Johnny Gat as Kyle**

**Yosuke Hanamura as Max**

**Mewtwo as Ray**

**Solid Snake as Barrett **

**And Fright Rider as Jake**

**The next day 10:15 A.M. Kyle's house**

"Good morning world! How will you make my life worse today?" asked Kyle as he woke up and stretched his hands above his head, then a sudden revelation came into his mind. "Wait a minute! He can't frame me for murder! I have his confession right here!" He stated in realization as he reached over to grab the letter then he noticed something odd, there were ashes all over his nightstand where the letter should be! "Dammit why is it every time I'm two steps ahead something happens that puts me five steps behind?"

**A little bit later 11:00 A.M. the kitchen of the De Sainte-Coquille mansion (The alternate base of the BBUR) **

"This is chaos!" Yelled Max while yanking at his hair "Ray I told you, you needed to go get the sled and take the money I left at your house last night to buy some Silver wolves!" Max said while spitting profusely from all of his built up rage.

"Wait, the note said you needed five sets of snow exploration gear." Said Ray who happened to be standing right in front of Max therefore receiving a massive slobber wash,

"Yes, it did but I clearly stated that I forgot to write it down but I needed those wolfs, and you should have known we would get nowhere without the sled!" Max looked as though he was poorly attempting sign language with all the gestures he was making to try and make it easier for Ray to understand.

"Well I spent the money that wasn't needed on supplies for the clinic, so there's no way to get them now, please forgive me!" said Ray as he began to cry.

"I'm not mad at you Ray, I'm sorry for taking my anger out on you. I'm actually mad at Jake and Barrett they're too busy watching TV to do anything to help the mission."

"Shut up Max our favorite shows on and we can't hear a word of what Felicity is trying to say." Yelled Barrett from across the room.

"You know for a show made by _**humans**_ Everybody Loves Raguna is actually pretty good! I mean compared to elf comedy series it leaves a lot to be desired but its good compared to a lot of the _**human**_ garbage on TV." Said Jake trying to cover-up the fact that he is a huge Lucia fanboy and he has a poster of her in his secret stash!

"You know they're not going to work if their shows on." Said Ray depressed at the aspect of two people versus one huge monster. "I just wish Kyle was here."

At that moment Kyle walked through the front door sword in hand "Hey guys! Who's ready to kill the Crystal Mammoth?" Asked Kyle who was back to his happy-go-lucky demeanor. At that moment he went over to Ray and gave him a friendly high five "Thank you for helping me through my depression yesterday, you're a great friend. And the ice-cream was good too!" And Kyle truly meant it, it was nice and minty! Although Kyle never really considered Ray his best friend, he realized that Ray thought he was his bestie, and Kyle took advantage of Ray because of that. Ray sacrificed so much for the BBUR and never got anything in return for it. So that's why Kyle decided to start treating Ray better.

"I try as hard as I can." Ray said half confused about the high five and half happy to see his friend.

"Hey Kyle glad to see your still alive!" Said Jake genuinely thrilled to see Kyle so happy "I'm sorry for my Jackass behavior yesterday you can harm me if you like."

"Jake you're the world's biggest dumbass if you think I'd harm you. I would only harm you if you were a zombie then I would be forced to decapitate you, and rub your blood all over my body so I could blend in with the other zombies!"

"I don't know how to take that. Was that a compliment?" questioned Jake.

"Yo Kyle glad to see you homie! Come join us in slacker central!" Said Barrett still glued to the TV.

"Hi Barrett, is that my favorite episode of Everybody Loves Raguna?" Said Kyle noticing he was watching the episode called 'According to Plan'.

"Yeah it is! My favorite episode is on next its 'No looky'." Said Barrett.

"Hello Kyle I thought you would return to the BBUR, your greed surpasses even your lust for a wife." Stated Max with an 'I told you so' look on his face.

"Really Max? Look outside and then tell me about my greed." Kyle stated while pointing at the front door.

Ray peeked out the window and got the ultimate surprise "Guys! Guys! Kyle got the wolves and sled, he did it! The mission is back on! We can go kill the Crystal Mammoth and get rich!"

"WOOHOO we gotta holla holla get dolla!" Screamed Barrett at the top of his lungs.

BANG BANG BANG Rosalind kicked the floor with all her might "Shut up Kyle!" She screamed.

"Hey! that wasn't even me." Kyle yelled back,

"Oh, sorry then but still screw you Kyle!" said Rosalind.

"Well you all get your thermal wear on, and I need to make some calls" said Kyle.

**Five minutes later **

"Bye Dad and bye Sis I'll see you later." Said Max to his family who were standing by the kitchen "Also bye Cecilia." with that he was out the door before they could even respond.

Barrett ran out the door and Kyle and Ray followed close behind, but Jake wanted to see his girl before he left. So he walked back to the bathroom where Cecilia was mopping the floor "Hey Honeylove how are you? By the way why aren't you wearing your maid outfit?"

"Oh, hi Jake I'm good how about you? The reason I'm noting wearing it is its casual Friday." said Cecilia.

"I'm much better now that I've seen you! I gotta go to Padova Mountain." said Jake with much enthusiasm.

"That place is dangerous, why do you have to go there?" said Cecilia who looked very scared.

"Some son of a _**Human **_named the Runefather said if we killed the Crystal Mammoth he'd make us rich." Jake stated as he put on his gloves,

"Jake please don't go, you'll get killed! Besides you can stay here and help me with my work and I'll even buy you lunch!"

"Sweetie I swear to you I won't get killed, and when I get back I'll use my riches to make you the happiest girl alive." Said Jake as he tried to hug Cecilia,

Cecilia pushed Jake away causing him to fall out the door "You know what Jake? I'm tired of you, you never come and visit me while I'm at work, you're your own biggest fan and think everybody should idol you, and for the whole three years we've been dating you never once kissed me or told me you love me! So we're through I no longer want to be your slave!" Said Cecilia as she threw the bucket of water on Jake's head,

"Fine then I hate you too and when I'm filthy stinking rich you can get the hell outta town you stupid gold digger!" said Jake as he turned around and ran to get out to the sled with the bucket still on his head.

"Well that went well." Said Rosalind who was eavesdropping the whole time,

"I really liked the part about him being his own biggest fan." Said Herman who was eating popcorn.

With that Jake left the mansion and walked to the sled, he noticed Kyle was in control of the Reins "Kyle I'm in the same boat as you now, my girlfriend just dumped me!" Said Jake who was thoroughly embarrassed.

And with that Kyle and the gang rode off to earn their riches.

**A few hours later 2:32 P.M. outside of Ice Field **

"Well this stinks I hoped we were wrong about the statue. But we were right." Said Barrett who being covered in snow, looked like a Yeti.

"Yeah it's weird in the real game there isn't a statue here and you can't fight Crystal Mammoth till…MMMHHHH" Jake slammed his gloved hand against Max's mouth.

"There is no need for you to be breaking the fourth wall! Also there are people who never played RF2 why they'd be reading this story I don't know but they'd never know the difference!" Said Jake.

"BRRR it is c-c-c-cold out here when will your friends arrive K-KYLE? C-c-cause I can guarantee we can't move this st-st-statue!" said Ray who was stuttering from being so cold and his teeth were loudly chattering.

"They will be here in about five minutes, I just need to send up a fireball and they'll know I'm ready for them." with that he reached into his coat and grabbed the fireball spellbook then he read the spell and shot a fireball into the sky. But instead of flying upwards it swerved midair and started flying to the right "Well it didn't work the way I hoped for, but that's ok I just hope I didn't hit anything important!" He said.

With that the ground started shaking and the gang heard a sound like thunder but ten times louder "Ah it's an earthquake!" yelled Ray as he duck and covered his head

"Haha that's not an earthquake silly!" said a girl about Jakes height she also had ocean blue eyes and brown hair; also she had a slight tan. "That was your helping crew!"

"Who are you exactly? I've never seen you round Alvarna before." Said Barrett with an expression like he saw a ghost.

"Silly me I forgot to introduce myself I'm Sakura resident of Fennith Isle, and newest member of their Island and Recreation team! By the way I wish I would have known where we were going I would have dressed warmer!" Sakura was shaking from the cold it didn't help she was wearing shorts and a shirt that was meant for summer time. She then proceeded to shake the five guys hands Kyle noticed she was peeking over his shoulder and suddenly she smiled and said "I can see why you can't get past that statue but that's okay I've got the solution!" Sakura then cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted "Come on Ymir!"

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Was all anyone could hear at this point as the golem lumbered forward and kept looking side-to-side wondering what he was supposed to pick up "It's down here Ymir!" Sakura yelled he then noticed what he was supposed to lift he chuckled, and then got into a fighting stance leaned over and firmly and grasped the statue. He then started to lift but the statue stood strong he began to strain himself pulling upwards with all his might for numerous minutes, then Sakura realized he was harming himself. His arms had begun to crack and the cracks was growing and creeping down Ymir's arms "No Ymir! Stop your hurting yourself! Please quit please!"

He knew all along he would lose both arms if he kept it up but Ymir knew better than most that there **are** people worth hurting yourself almost to the point of death for and at the top of Ymir's list was Aden, Sonja, Amy, and Sakura. But because of Sakura he stopped pulling. Although she would never know how much it pained him to fail her.

Sakura pulled out a phone and dialed a number it picked up on the first ring "Yep, sadly he couldn't do it he got wounded but it will heal. Go ahead and advance forward." Again the shaking started and the thunder sounded suddenly a spaceship landed and two men who looked considerably older then the BBUR members, and a boy and girl about a year younger then Sakura walked out,

"That's her!" Jake screamed in delight "Hey you human girl!" for once in his life Jake said human without disgust. "Lucia, yeah you! Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" said Jake actually meaning it.

"Go ahead Hudley do it!" A spaceman said from within the cockpit of the spaceship, a gun then pointed itself at the sky and shot confetti into the air. The spaceman then ran out of the ship and said "My name is Alvar Leon. Soldier of the Terran Empire and proconsul to this planet! Bow before me you insignificant little men or face my patented destruction ray!**" **Alvar said clearly joking with a goofy grin on his face and a high pitched silly voice.

"I think you actually scared them Grandpa!" Said Lucia who was observing these new strangers "By the way sir I'm gonna have to turn you down on being your girlfriend seeing as I don't even know you."

"Oh that's alright I thought you might say that, and by the way we weren't scared we're we guys?" said Jake.

Kyle, Barrett, Max, and Ray all agreed that Alvar didn't scare them and with that Leona said "I don't believe you."

"Let's get down to work I feel like my nose is gonna freeze off in a minute" Raguna said while rubbing his hands together.

"It's colder than a Reaper's soul but not as creepy!" said Aden who hated the cold.

"WOW you all look great." Said Jake thrilled to be talked to by the stars of his favorite show. He ran up and shook each of their hands "Nice goatee Raguna! You look very good Leona you're a fine young man! Lucia you're beautiful and you look nice in pink! And I'm glad you look as youthful as ever Alvar!" Jake said.

"Yep it's the Terran technology" said Alvar "I'm actually 53 but it keeps me youthful."

"Is anybody here a fan of Islands and Recreation?" Aden asked because he was starting to get quite offended.

"I am!" said Kyle. "I have seen every episode multiple times. Sadly my friends don't appreciate true art and therefore have never seen it. "

"Well thank you Kyle." Said Aden while stroking his mustache.

"You know I'm a fan." Said Raguna as he gave Aden a noogie,

"At least you, your family, and Kyle are fans Raguna. It was fun giving our all for our few but proud fans."

"Where is Felicity and Leif?" Asked Barret.

"They're at home." Raguna and Aden said in unison "Jynx!" They both said in unison again!

"And so is my wife Mikoto!" Said Aden mainly just to Kyle.

A few minutes passed and everybody got acquainted. "Well, let's pull down this statue." Said Alvar while climbing back into the ship. "Hudley initiate the grappling hook!" suddenly a chain of energy flew out of what looked like a cannon and tied itself around the head of the statue.

"Do you want to start the engine?" Asked Hudley.

"Yes please do!" Alvar said as the ship roared to life "We'll teach this statue not to be a Jackass when you mess with the best!" the ship flew forward then stopped the chain holding tight and the engine screaming from the disturbance "We…Must…Push…Onward!" Yelled Alvar who would not be bested by a statue.

"Go Grandpa, Go Grandpa, Go Grandpa" Yelled Lucia who began to dance "join me everyone!" Lucia said knowing that encouragement might help Alvar succeed. All of a sudden everyone began to yell variations of the phrase.

"Now I know I gotta do it! Hudley switch to the battle type engine I need some juice!" the ship made a sound like a cannon firing and shot a few feet forward before halting "Noooo! I am a living being no remnant of some ancient race will best my new age glory!" he held the control stick forward and started hitting buttons from the console then suddenly he noticed he was moving forward. But then as Alvar began to break dance he noticed something instead of having the statue flying behind the ship bound by the energy chain. Half of the now broken chain was flailing about "Damn you statue!" Alvar yelled as he saw the statue still standing in the BBUR's way.

"Well this sucks" said Aden while scratching his head in confusion "Wait, is it just me or is that statue laughing?"

"You know your right!" Raguna was PO'd "It finds us hilarious!"

"What do you mean_ **humans**_? It's completely silent." Said Jake wondering if they were high,

"No you don't understand we hear it because we're Earthmates. You're an elf." Said Sakura.

Sakura was right Ray, Barrett, Max, and Jake weren't Earthmates. But Kyle, Raguna, Aden, Sakura, Leona, and Lucia were and the statue was enchanted so that only an Earthmate could hear it.

"Foolish, Earthmates if you would've been kind and said hello I would have told you what I wanted so you could pass." For some reason the statue sounded Jamaican.

"Hello? I'm Kyle nice to meet you?" said Kyle wondering if the statue was lying.

"AHHMMMM pass me a five and the Mammoth is yours." The statue said joyously.

"On me!" Said Leona who wanted to help, he then reached into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill and put it on the statue's head.

the statue than disappeared in smoke but before that he said "Good luck people, you'll need it HAHAHAHAHA"

"Well all's well that ends well" stated Alvar who just got back "And everyone loves a happy ending"

"No, everyone loves…"Aden began to say,

"KYLE!" yelled Kyle "This is MY Wacky Love-Venture everyone loves me!"

"Oh, really?" Said Raguna rolling his eyes "I'm sure SuperMastour or should I say the best Rune Factor fanfic writer ever, would kindly disagree! He's so awesome he beat Terrable before me! He was just nice enough to let me have all the credit! And he says everybody loves me. Good day to you sir!"

Everyone said their goodbyes and Raguna's gang boarded the ship ready to go home for some TLC while Ymir was strapped to the ships underbelly with some chains, and Kyle hyped up his team for the fast approaching cash. They then entered Ice Field, they noticed they didn't see the mammoth. But he should be here unless he grew wings and flew off. Suddenly as they walked into the center of the field a small piece of ice moved forward, it was half covered in snow so it was almost invisible, Ray took a step forward and stepped on the ice not seeing it, suddenly he was enveloped in a cube of ice!

"Damn! Poor Ray I'll help you get out of there." Said Max who jumped a mile when Ray was frozen.

Suddenly a giant roar was heard and Crystal Mammoth sped forward almost hitting Max but Barret more worried about his friend's safety than anything, kicked him causing him to fall backwards out of harm's way. Kyle jumped on Crystal's back and grabbed numerous tufts of fur and tried pulling it in the direction he wanted the mammoth to move but it went wild and started jumping and shaking its body wildly. Then realizing Kyle hadn't fallen off yet it started running forward wanting to at the last moment make a jump to the right and knock off Kyle but it slipped half way through and fell on its side. Kyle vaulted over it tusks at the last second but accidently dropped his sword. Jake grabbed the sword and ran over to the mammoths face ready to stab its eye. But Jake saw it had a sad afraid to die look on its face.

"Kyle I can't do it! I don't wanna hurt the poor monster, let's just scrap this mission and go home!" Jake said quite desperately, as he turned his back the mammoth got up and whacked his left tusk against Jake's side launching him into the sky.

**Sech capital throne room 4:02 P.M.**

Jake crashed through the ceiling and landed in right front of Ethelbert "Who the hell are you?!" yelled the king of Sech,

"I'm Batman!" Said Jake who was dazed and confused he then passed out.

**Back at Ice Field**

When Kyle vaulted off the mammoth's tusks he landed on ice, fell over and slid against a wall seeing this Crystal ran towards Kyle who was struggling to get up, Barrett and Max jumped at the mammoth and grabbed both his tusks trying to rip them off! But Mammoth knew he had to win so he shook his head violently and knocked them away. Kyle had his back against the wall as the Mammoth was dashing at him and he was stuck in a nook where he couldn't escape as Crystal got closer, his left tusk even more so. He was about to impale Kyle when suddenly, BANG! A gunshot was heard, Mammoth fell over dead and his tusks fell off before he turned into a spirit and returned to the forest of beginnings

"BOOM, HEADSHOT!" yelled Alvar who was holding a sniper rifle "We stayed to eat lunch in the ship, and heard a huge commotion so I came to check on you all!" he then used a special beam on his belt to melt ray out.

"I can't thank you enough Mr. Leon" Said Kyle.

"You being safe is all that matters." Said Alvar.

The BBUR boarded the ship with tusks in tow and flew to get Jake who was tracked down by Hudley. Alvar then dropped the BBUR outside of town square were they then proceeded to walk in.

"Having fun?" said a cloaked figure who revealed himself to be none other than Douglas.  
"Wait why are **YOU **here?" Asked Max.

"It's simple, **I'm the Runefather**!" he then pulled out a phone and dialed a number "Hello officer, I have a group of poachers who just killed a protected monster!" Douglas then hit a button that caused gates to close pinning them in the square. "Sorry boys only Kyle would have went to jail if you only listened to my recording."

At that moment the police arrived on carriages and Douglas let them in, one of the officers seeing the BBUR with the tusks went to handcuff them "Officer Wait, I can explain he framed us!" Yelled Ray who didn't want to go to jail.

"Well Kyle it looks like I won. Now you'll never take my precious little girl away from me!" said Douglas who was evilly grinning "Wait, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did" Said a policeman who looked like Thomas Magnum "So we're gonna take you in. I mean don't worry you'll only get 25 to 30 years."

"What you failed to realize is your daughter hates me. I have a better of marrying Cammy then I do Mana" Stated Kyle,

"Oh no! Son of a #$%ing jackalope I'll get you someday Kyle! With or without my daughter probably in 25 to 30 years so watch your ass boy-o!" and with that they handcuffed Douglas threw him in the carriage and took him off to his incarceration.

"Well it really blows that there was no money." Said Barrett who was flustered.

"AWWW who cares I'm already rich!" Said Max indifferently.

"Well at least we had some fun and bonded through teamwork." Said Ray looking on the Brightside of the matter.

"I can't believe I broke up with my girlfriend for this crap!" Said Jake as he pulled at his hair.

"There is only one thing I want to know at this point, why do I feel like this SuperMastour fellow mentioned me in the past?"

And with that the group disbanded and they all went home to rest.

* * *

**THE END OF THE Runefather TRILOGY (But not the series it hasn't even became a Love-Venture yet.)**

Authors notes: Wow is all I can say WOW this trilogy was a monster to write for! And this chapter right here was the worst offence! But all is well that ends well and everybody still loves Raguna so see you next time on Douglas' Vile Prison Break JK Kyle's Wacky Love-Venture!

Also to any curious fellows SuperMastour did mention Kyle in the easter special chapter 59 of Everybody Loves Raguna.

On one final note, Thank you SuperMastour for letting me use your characters in this chapter! It would not be the same without them.


	5. I'll see you in court!

Before people rage I realize some of this is different from real court cases! Now let's get this hiatus breaker rolling!

* * *

Season 1 Episode 5: I'll see you in court!

"Life is great!" Kyle stated as he laid on a bench underneath the cherry blossom trees "Nothing could go wrong, I guarantee it."

"Hello, are you Kyle?" A Noradian official asked.

"Yes I am, and proud to be him!" Stated Kyle as he sat up.

"You just got served." The official handed Kyle a paper and started to break-dance away.

Kyle looked at the paper and began to read."Douglas is suing you. You have the right to hire your own lawyer or you will be supplied with the worst, crappiest, most uneducated reject that ever dropped out of law school and forged his diploma!" Kyle scratched his head in confusion "Why is he suing me?"

"Because according to him, you killed the Crystal Mammoth and blamed him for it." Stated the official as he danced his way back over to Kyle.

"Douglas tricked us into killing the mammoth!" Kyle began to take his rage out on the official.

"This is best discussed in court, and secondly I am not the one suing you, so please do not holler at me." The official stated as he took the defense.

"You know what sir?" Kyle asked, "I'm sorry its just I was having a good day, and this whole situation kinda destroyed my mood, but I shouldn't shoot the messenger so I apologize."

"I understand and I forgive you." The official began to skip away, "Goodbye, I wish you luck in court."

"Thanks!" Kyle replied before walking towards the mansion.

"I'm sorry Kyle but I don't know any good lawyers." Max Told Kyle as they looked for a phone book. "I can't even think of any bad ones off hand."

"Well if I don't find one soon I might as well kick the chair, because I bet they already put the rope around my neck." Stated a very spooked Kyle.

"Hey a month ago we thought killing the Crystal Mammoth was impossible so this should be a piece of cake by comparison!" Max tried to cheer his friend up but failed.

"That's the problem if we didn't kill the Mammoth I wouldn't have to go to court, also we didn't kill it Alvar did." Kyle thought for a second, "Do you think Alvar is a lawyer?"

"I highly doubt it." Said Max as he found a number, "Wow it says this guy is an eccentric but skilled lawyer who would rather have sweets than cash!" Dollar signs appeared in his eyes."You know Kyle, I think everything is going to work out great." Stated Max as he reached for the phone.

One week passed and the B.B.U.R. found themselves in Norad's capital sitting outside the courtroom waiting for the trial to start. "You **are** going to win Kyle; I can assure you of that." Stated Barrett as he twiddled his fingers out of boredom.

"My lawyer hasn't even arrived yet, so I assure you I'm screwed!" Kyle sobbed as he held his head in his hands.

"In retrospect maybe we should have got Aden, Raguna, and Alvar to come and explain what happened." Stated Jake as he fastened his tie.

"I tried!" Max stated after taking a drink from a water bottle he had brought. "They aren't home!"

"Who knows what awesome TV adventure they're going on." Ray stated as he was on the verge of fanboying out.

"Well hello Kyle." Said Douglas as he walked into the building, "I wish you luck that you'll suffer as you die in the electric chair."

"Well thank you Douglas!" Kyle said sarcastically, "By the way your daughter is breaking down my door every day for a chance to make out with me."

"I'm gonna get you, you little…" Douglas noticed the judge was walking their way "a little less than a hefty sum of money if you win the case my friend!"

"What I want to know is what you would have said if I hadn't walked around that corner in time!" The Judge said not amused with Douglas and Kyle's shenanigans. "by the way my name is Tyler but you can call me Your Honor!"

Douglas and Kyle walked into the courtroom and went and sat at their respective tables as the judge put on his wig when suddenly the door opened someone pushed a confused man through the door.

"Now that I think about it, I really regret going on a bender last night." he muttered, he noticed Kyle was alone and walked over to him. "Hi there, I'm Phoenix Wright, Douglas' new lawyer," Phoenix reached out and shook Kyle's hand. "I was wondering where is your lawyer, if you don't have one I can ring someone up for you I want this to be a fair trial."

"I think he genuinely wants to have a fair fight." Said Max in approval of the lawyer.

"Yeah and my ass sings me to sleep every night!" Stated Barrett who was watching Phoenix like a hawk.

"Kyle, we can give you ten more minutes then we have to call in the horrible lawyer, or Phoenix may call up a good one." Your Honor stated as he used his gavel to scratch his itchy nose. "By the way Narrator, you may call me Tyler." Okay thanks Tyler!

"I don't think…" Kyle started to speak.

WHOOSH! At that moment the door opened and Phoenix, Douglas, Kyle and the rest of the people in the courtroom looked back,

"I hope I'm not late," Stated the man as he looked around, "By the way do you have a problem sir?" He said as he looked toward Phoenix and began to chew on licorice sticks.

"Are you Kyle's lawyer?" Phoenix asked the mysterious man.

"Yes I am." He responded "By the way my name is L but please, call me Ryuzaki."

"What?" Phoenix asked hoping this was a joke."You're only wearing a plain shirt and blue jeans instead of a suit, you are shoeless, and you look like you haven't slept in days!"

"And I thought I was the observant one." L stated. He then took a seat beside Kyle, as usual sitting in a very unusual way to 'help his detective reasoning'. "By the way," He whispered to Kyle, glancing at the other members of the B.B.U.R., "I have reason to believe one of your friends is Kira."

"And why do you say that?" Kyle asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"If I am correct you will find out, if I am wrong you have the right to just consider me insane." L responded.

"Didn't you die?" Asked Douglas as he scratched his head.

"I may have. Or maybe I faked my death, sometimes it hard to tell." Stated L.

"So is everybody ready for the trial to begin?" Asked the Tyler.

"Nah." Stated someone in the public area.

"Who said that?" Tyler asked as his face became red and smoke flew out his ears.

"It was I!" Yelled Duke Nukem "I should be a judge because I've got laws of steel!"

"Get him out of here!"Tyler yelled as he whacked his gavel against his sound block.

"No one kicks Duke Nukem out!" He said as he stood up, "Duke Nukem kicks himself out!" He then preceded to kick himself in the rear causing him to fly out the window.

Tyler cupped his hands together and hollered, "You'll receive a bill in the mail for that!"

"Could we maybe go ahead and begin?" Douglas asked as he got tired of waiting.

"Yes," Tyler announced, " The case of Douglas VS. Kyle has began, Ryuzaki will you proceed with your opening statement?"

"I would love to." He then got up and paced around the room. "I would like to keep this nice and simple, I think Douglas is full of balognga, and if people start mysteriously dying, I believe it is because Kira is in this building."

"I would like the jury to take note of this." Tyler stated.

"Affirmative." Said Magna Charge who was the presiding juror.

"Now may I hear your opening statement Phoenix?"

"Yes Your Honor." He then stood up and preceded to speak, "Through various chats with my client I have come to believe that Kyle and his team had a premeditated plan to kill the Crystal Mammoth and then frame my client."

"OBJECTION!" L yelled with a mouthful of candy corn.

Tyler banged his gavel! "Calm down Ryuzaki, the opening statement is only theory!"

"Oh... Okay then." L settled back down.

"Let the jury also note Phoenix's speech." Tyler said as he put his gavel back down.

"Rodger Rodger!" A OOM battle droid in the jury said as he saluted Tyler.

Tyler looked over at his jury and noticed it was completely composed of robots! "Did we run out of humans for jury duty?" He asked.

"Sounds about right." Springtrap who was also in the jury responded.

"And who are the other three?" Tyler asked as he began to put his glasses on.

"R.O.B., Metal Sonic, and Clank." Ray said.

"I will remember that." Tyler stated as he put his glasses away. "Phoenix please call your first witness to the stand."

"I call Max De Sainte-Coquille to the stand!" Phoenix stood up and walked next to the stand.

Max walked up to the stand and took a seat, "S'up?" He asked Phoenix.

"First you must take an oath!" Stated the clerk who was none other than Luigi as he walked up to Max with a Bible, Max put his hand on the Bible and Luigi spoke, "Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"Yes, may God strike me dead if I give even the whitest of all lies!" Max stated.

Tyler then spoke. "Okay, you may now continue Phoenix."

"Max is it true you are the self proclaimed leader of the Board Brothers United by Request?" Phoenix asked.

"Yes, I made myself leader three years ago when our team was first created." Max responded.

"And is it true that you where the one that brought 'the Rune Father' to Kyle's attention?" Phoenix began to pace around the stand.

"That is also true." Max again responded.

"One final question, Did my client frame Kyle?" Phoenix began to perspire as he asked the question.

"YES IT IS POSITIVELY TRUE!" Max said as he grabbed Phoenix's suit for the drama of it.

"That is all." Phoenix retreated to his table.

"It seems God's going to prove what I already know, that I'm guilty." Douglas stated.

"WHAT you mean to tell me you lied, and you did frame the poor Earthmate!" Phoenix said a bit too loudly.

"Well... Yeah, I just wanted him to leave my daughter alone and I saw no other way." Douglas shrugged "And I thought if I lied and got you as a lawyer I might have enough luck to get off scot-free."

"Then it seems our trial is over!" Tyler announced.

"WAIT!" L stood up. "For personal reasons I want to call one more person to the stand."

"I'm getting paid by the hour so go ahead!" Tyler said as he began to eat popcorn.

"I call Barrett to the stand!" L announced.

"me?" Barrett questioned.

"**YES YOU****!**" Kyle cupped his hands and yelled.

"Mr. Kyle, do that again and I'll have you in contempt of court!" Tyler pointed his gavel at Kyle.

Kyle noticed Douglas and Phoenix both watched Barrett as he walked to the stand. Douglas noticed Kyle staring and stuck his tongue out at Kyle.

"I'm surprised you have the maturity to take care of your shop, because you clearly aren't mature enough to keep your tongue in your mouth!" Kyle quipped.

"Shut up you idiot boy!" Douglas said as he stood up and made a fist.

"Mr. Wright please control your client before I glue his butt to his chair!" Tyler Chuckled.

"Yes Your Honor." Phoenix responded thoroughly embarrassed.

At this point Barrett was seated behind the stand and had taken his oath. L walked up to him and asked. "I don't want to beat behind the bush about this, are you Kira?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Barrett stated.

"I've noticed you have been checking the notebook in you suit throughout this entire case. Why did you do this?" L smiled.

"I was taking notes." Barrett got into L's face and responded.

"Then I would like to offer you a snack." L reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag of chips.

Barrett stared at the bag and began to perspire. "no, NO I CAN'T RESIST" He reached into the bag! "I'LL TAKE A POTATO CHIP AND EAT ITTTTTTTTT!"

"You gotta be kidding me!" Douglas laughed loudly. "This idiot can't be a criminal mastermind like Light Yagami!" Suddenly Douglas fell over dead on the table!

Phoenix jumped up and screamed "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY... HYEH!" He reached for his chest before dying from a heart attack and also falling onto the table.

"NO! Why couldn't I have saved them!?" L Screamed.

"Don't worry now I'll kill **YOU** L Lawliet!" Barrett laughed with bloodlust as he pulled out his Death Note!

"No I won't let you!" Touta Matsuda Yelled as he pulled a handgonne and shot Barrett dead!

"MATSUDA YOU IDIOT!" L screamed, "We needed to take Kira to jail not kill him!"

"Howdy folks!" Raguna and the rest of the 'statue moving crew' except Ymir all walked in, "We're here to help defend... WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED HERE?!"

"It's a long story." Kyle said before passing out from fright.

* * *

Author's Notes: This is the long awaited fifth chapter! HOORAY! First of all I wanted to state this chapter was originally written by me. But my computer crashed and I had to rewrite some, so I gave up and had a friend write it well we have gotten into a little scuffle about certain things and I decided it is in everybody's best interest if I wrote it. I did keep some of the stuff he put though. Also SuperMastour I hope you knew this story wasn't abandoned, the cover art you made is just to awesome the let this story die! And last but not least is Barrett and Douglas really dead? Tune into Season 1 Episode 6: I'll see you in another dimension to find out!


End file.
